Most people who walk away from a marriage look forward to never having to deal with their ex again. Unfortunately, this isn’t how things work if you have children together. You and your ex will still have to work as a parenting team to raise the children. This means that you’ll have to deal with some aspects of life remaining fairly close to what they are now.
While you’ll still have to deal with your ex, some aspects of the relationship must change. You aren’t going to focus on interacting with each other. Instead, your focus will now be on how to help the children thrive despite the split.
It’s best to remember that you can’t include things that happened in the marriage in your decisions regarding the children. Unless there was abuse or addiction involved, things that happened between you and your ex don’t have a part in how you handle the child custody matters.
It isn’t always easy to have to work with your ex, but your children will appreciate having both parents at special events like birthday celebrations and school functions. Setting a clear standard for respectful communication is one key to making this work.
One thing that can help immensely in these situations is having a solid parenting plan in place. You and your ex can work together to come up with the terms of this or the court can make the decisions and issue the order. These terms should be set for what the child needs now. As the child matures, the order can be modified to reflect the new needs.